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In the blockbuster film Jurassic Park, Dr. Ian Malcolm, played by the inimitable Jeff Goldblum, delivered a chilling warning to a visionary who had gone too far. “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could,” he said, “they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
Today, that same chilling warning echoes through the halls of finance as a new buzzword takes hold: the "democratization" of private equity. The promise is that you, the retail investor, can now access the kind of high-powered investment opportunities once reserved for the titans of Wall Street.
But the notion that you can have a stake in private equity for your 401(k) is one of the more blatant examples of a stupid investment trick.
Let’s first debunk a myth: the idea that retail investors have been locked out of private equity until now is a false premise. Many of the "big players" are actually pension and mutual funds managing money for everyday people—the cops, firefighters, and teachers of the world. In truth, individual investors have been exposed to private equity for at least two decades.
The real risk isn’t access; it’s the lack of professional guidance. When left to their own devices, individual investors are like a kid in a candy store with no budget—they’ll either buy too little to make a difference or, more dangerously, buy too much and expose their portfolio to catastrophic risk.
The Blind Faith Investment
The first word in this asset class is "Private" for a reason. This is an industry that thrives behind a veil of secrecy. If even institutional investors—the seasoned pros—have difficulty finding out what’s going on, individual investors may not fare much better. You’re not just buying a stake; you’re buying into a black box. This reduces your investment to blind faith, which is perhaps not the best strategy for saving for retirement.
The Myth of Low Volatility
The central sales pitch of private equity is that because it’s not "marked to market" every day, it’s less volatile than investments in public companies. This is a mirage. Just because you can’t see the daily price swings doesn’t mean the value isn’t plummeting. The market may be calm on the surface, but a storm could be raging beneath, and you’ll be the last one to get the weather report.
The Locked-In Trap
And if you want to get out, good luck. Private equity funds are the financial equivalent of a roach motel—you can check in, but you can’t check out. Your ability to sell shares or interests in the fund is often severely restricted by timing or the amount you can sell, or both. You can run for the exit, but you may find the door is bolted shut.
The Hefty Price Tag
And what do you pay for this privilege? A king’s ransom. While you can get a low-cost ETF for a few basis points, private equity fees start at a staggering 1.25% and can skyrocket to the infamous “2 and 20,” which means a 2% management fee and 20% of the profits.
The Allure: Returns & FOMO
So why the rush to get in? The siren song of historical returns is one reason—private equity has, in recent history, beaten the S&P 500. But historical returns are no guarantee of future performance, and as money floods into the sector, competition will inevitably pressure those returns.
But the more powerful force at play is FOMO—the Fear of Missing Out. True, you might miss an opportunity on the next "paradigm-changing" AI or chip company. But you’ll also be missing out on a lack of transparency, a high-cost structure, and a dangerous lack of liquidity.
So, before you jump into the private equity theme park, remember Dr. Malcolm’s warning. Your financial engineers may have figured out if they could give you access to this asset class. The real question is, should they? And should you?